"Work out your salvation in fear and trembling" (Phil 2:12). This scripture quote is ignored by those who think salvation is a onetime decision. St. Paul knew that living the life Jesus taught is hard work, hence, this quote. Our toxic culture presents marriage as a fun adventure with a fun partner. The idea that marriage is for sanctification is a foreign concept.


Don't be Duped


“We do not fight flesh and blood, we fight principalities” (Eph. 6:12). All arguments, disagreements, conflicts and wars are from the destructive enemy. Conflict has a basis in one of the seven deadly sins with pride as the root: “My way; I deserve that; my idea; my money; I will get even; I’m right; I’m angry with you; I don’t love you anymore; I fear you don’t like me; I won’t say I am sorry; it’s not my fault.” Sixty-six percent of first marriages fail because the evil one is allowed to manipulate the feelings of the couple into angry arguments, fights and hurt feelings. If you argue and can’t get along with your spouse, you are in a very dangerous place as the evil one wants to destroy your sacramental marriage. No one wants to be duped and yet we are used when we let the evil one provoke us into fights and arguments with our beloved. It always goes back to pride, self- love, fear, getting even and hurt feelings.




"Encourage and help one another" (1Thes. 5:11). Catholic marriage is unique and should be lived differently than a secular marriage. You and your spouse are the sacrament bound together by the divine love of Christ so your relationship needs to reflect Christ's divine love. Sacramental marriage is not a game or a competition where there are winners and losers. Sarcasm, yelling, criticism, complaining and disparaging talk are not part of a holy sacrament. The world and our toxic culture reject Christ, His Church and the supernatural character of the sacraments. Therefore, Catholic marriage needs to look, sound and feel kinder and more loving than marriages that are not sacramental.


Perfect Love


Jesus said, "Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Mt 5: 48). Many married couples embark on marriage with the hope of having a perfect wedding, marriage and family. Perfectionism is a priority in their lives as they try to control the world, spouse and family. Jesus' call to perfection has to do with holiness, a desire for personal holiness based on a disciplined obedience to the will of God rather than control of spouse. Jesus wants to help us with our quest for perfect holiness so He gave His Church the needed tools to help us. He awaits us in reconciliation to provide the graces needed for holiness to help let go of anger, pride, fear, bitterness, disappointments, past hurts and all issues that lack love and exert control.